FINDING LOVE AS A PWD


The saying “Love is blind” becomes an arguable concept when dealing with persons with disabilities

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The saying “Love is blind” becomes an arguable concept when dealing with persons with disabilities, there’s so much to consider especially when the love in question here is between a PWD and an able-bodied person.

Different questions pop up, “How will dates and going out together work?”, “What will parents say?” and so on.

 The greatest challenges will come from the perception of others, the questions “Why this person” instead of “Why not this person” just goes to reveal the undertone of biases because of something that seems “unusual” in our portrayal of what love should look like simply because none of our favorite love stories or movies show the possibility of love among persons with disabilities

However, it is very interesting to see that increasingly persons with disabilities are showcasing that they are not excluded from having loving relationships, on social media, it's pretty easy to come across hashtags like #Inter-abled relationships, and even on Youtube couples with disabilities tend to have a large following mostly because people are curious to see how love is even possible for PWD’s, it's so beautiful to see the genuineness of it all.

Often on those pages, one would come across comments like “Wow, you are so lucky to have found love despite……” and I find that idea quite troubling maybe because the idea is not to find someone who was able to “see beyond the disability”, Love for persons with disabilities is not so that one partner closes his/her eyes to the other partner's disability because, in the long run, that cannot be sustained as it becomes unrealistic, Love for persons with disabilities should be that both partners are aware of the situation of things and they are consciously deciding to vow to grow together in the possibilities and uniqueness of their relationship with the understanding that their decision to be together will come with its peculiar challenges just as every other relationship is challenged.

Everyone desires to love and be loved, persons with disabilities are not an exception.

Another sad perception can be that people who date or marry persons with disabilities are doing them a favor and saving them from a life of misery and loneliness, no one in love wants to feel like the charity case of the other person this idea is largely borne from the fact that people expect that a relationship with a person with disability is one that would always require one party constantly helping the other and we need to understand that pwd’s are very capable of being independent and carrying out tasks, they may require support but it doesn’t mean that they are absolutely helpless and undeserving of love.

 

Written by: Moyinoluwa Adelakun Esq.

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